A large mistake that many of us make is sending an email or other written response in the heat of the moment. This is especially so after a contentious divorce, when ex-spouses must figure out how to coparent. One easy (and free) way to learn to write less emotionally is to write all of your emails or other written communications in Word or another word processing document. There is something magic about the need to save, copy, and paste a message that makes most people re-read their messages and reconsider their tone. Remember -- if you don't want your words blown up into a giant trial exhibit by your ex, don't send them.  Keep your messages short, to the point, and courteous.  Focus on the present and future and don't rehash the past.